Celebration

by Kamalika Majumdar

“Thee, touch my soul with the fire/ That my life becomes auspicious”

​

This was Jaya's favourite line- a line from Tagore's song, Jaya's lifeline. Whenever she felt blue, she resorted to the bard's soulful numbers. But rarely was she in a bad humour; it was not her nature actually- the effervescent, dynamic woman always doing this thing or the other. She had multiple engagements. She was a state- level swimmer, she was a social activist, she penned stories for children, and she worked as an officer in the Sales Tax Department of the state government. Nonetheless, the last one became a recent past as last month Jaya turned sixty and she happily took the farewell from her colleagues. Her job was a veritable and perpetual botheration for her. She had never really liked it, except for the fact that she met her life-partner Vineet through her job. Vineet came as a client in their department and his files were being dealt by Jaya. Soon they struck a chord because they shared similar likes and thoughts. The only difference they had was their age gap. Jaya was forty-two, single and an avowed celibate so far. Vineet was thirty-seven. So when they decided to choose each other as life-partners, many eyebrows were raised. There was stiff opposition from Vineet's family. But they cared little for any perturbation from outside. So, they were married and lived happily. They lived, they loved, they trekked together, they baked together, they celebrated life together. Life itself was a celebration for Jaya. She loved to live every moment of her life, she loved to drink the nectar called life up to the lees. She despised death. Any tiding of a death turned her off. And so she hated diseases.

​

****

“Turn on the TV and you find the grim looking newsreader delivering the corona death toll. God! So depressing!” muttered Vineet.

“Depressing indeed”. Jaya quipped.

“I’m planning a month-long expedition to Auden's Col after this lockdown is over. Only you and me.”

“Let’s see.”

“What let’s see? I thought you would offer me this proposal. Life is unbearable for both of us within these four walls. It sucks! We need a long outing yaar.”

Yes, a long vacation... very long.”

“My God! Where the devil this hell of a disease would lead us to? “

“To our end.”

“That is what it is! Just see Jaya, what a shock! Israat Khan is no more! Another prey to Corona. What a loss! Such a talented actor he was! “

“Disease leads to death. Death leads to void. Means disease leads to a void, isn’t it Vineet? A big, big void... a nothingness... a meaninglessness, a total inanity!”

“This deadly disease spares no one- high and low, rich and poor, all are the same in its scale”.

“And it makes life look so miserable, so helpless, so uncared for”.

 

****

“Keep tomorrow’s Sunday free Ajit. I may need you here at my place”.

“Can you come over here tomorrow, Punam?“

“Sumita, I expect you at my flat tomorrow. Don’t miss”.

“Vaisakha, if you want to make tomorrow's Sunday special, come at my nest tomorrow”.

“Jeeva, can you make it at my den tomorrow? Urgent”.

“Miriam, no hang-out elsewhere tomorrow, okay? You're coming at my coop”.

“Sushil, some wonder awaits you tomorrow at my little cubbyhole. Don’t miss”.

“Vineet, there will be an event at our roost tomorrow. I’ve arranged for it. For long we haven’t had one. This one going to be a big surprise for everyone, especially after the monotony of the monstrous lockdown. I'll be the host. Take care of everyone, like the good old wise owl.”

Lockdown period had just ended, and Vineet had to be at his uncle's place in the neighbouring town. His uncle was an octogenarian and was suffering from a poor health for quite a long time. The old man was quite fond of Vineet and sought a visit by him. Vineet was supposed to return on Sunday anyway.

​

****

Next morning Vineet started early from his uncle's house. He received Jaya's text late at night, called her but her mobile was switched off. Usually, Jaya did not keep her mobile off at any time. She used to make it a point to get it fully charged always. She had myriad social welfare activities. People called her for help, this kind or other. Jaya was always there to stand by people- ailing people, distressed people, destitute. This gave her immense satisfaction. She always said what is this life for if we can’t make others' lives a bit better.

​

So, turning off her mobile was quite odd. But then Vineet did not find it that odd as Jaya was in the habit of throwing surprises quite often. Little surprises in life make life more appealing, more desirable, she believed. And now she has written that she is planning a big surprise! Must be some gala party she has arranged for, Vineet reflected. She loved to have parties at home with close cronies.

​

****

“Jaya, open the door. Jaya? Why don’t you open the door? Now this can’t be apart of your surprise, Jaya. Open the door, please.”

​

This was quite unlike Jaya. She never kept anyone waiting at the door. At the first ring of the doorbell, she would rush to open the door. Even if she was planning for the surprise, she would not keep the door closed for almost half an hour. Vineet was now pressing the doorbell desperately. Inmates of the other flats in their apartment block started gathering at the door. They all called out to Jaya. There was no reply from the other end.

 

Then some boys banged open the door. In the hall, the dining table was set up with a sumptuous spread. The entire hall was decorated with Jaya's favourite flowers. On the table lay some envelops. From inside Jaya's bedroom a soft tune of Jaya's cherished Rabindra sangeet could be heard. Vineet dashed toward their bedroom. Jaya was sleeping. Sleeping peacefully on her beloved mauve bedspread. Vineet went near her and ran his fingers through her thick hair. She did not stir or smile at Vineet. Vineet patted on her cheeks, “Jaya, slept late at night? Come, wake up. Your guests will be here soon. You've planned for a grand celebration, right? Your preparation is fabulous, I've seen it in the hall. But it’s time to ready yourself Jaya. Get up babe”.

​

Jaya stayed put. Vineet felt flustered. At that time Seema, their neighbour called Vineet.

​

“Vineet, take these envelopes. Each contains a note for you. Two are for police. In one she has written that she is leaving us on her own will. In another she has put all her identity documents. Sachdev has informed the police.”

​

“What was wrong with her Vineet? Why did she take her own life? She has written she preferred death by self-will. But she looked so happy with life!” Nikhilesh sounded baffled.

​

Vineet was at his wit's end. In a trance he took up the letters meant for him. Notes of instructions.

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“You must sleep in our bedroom even after I leave. Initially ask some relative to stay with you, but slowly you wil get used to living without me”.

“From next month onwards increase the cook's salary”.

“The kitchen needs a new sink. Call the plumber at your earliest”.

“Don’t forget the Auden's Col expedition. Take Sudip along with you. He was so eager to join”.

​

There was a fatter envelope. Vineet's numb fingers opened the flap of the envelope and out came a long note-

​

“They say life, death and marriage are pre-destined. I didn’t have any role in my birth. I've married out of my own choice. Now this is my wish that I would script my own death. Nobody knows, not even you Vineet, that this has been my long-cherished dream to determine my own end. I'm romantic about it. I've always loved my life passionately. I don’t want any disease, or any mishap get the better of my life. I'm 60 now. With age, come complications. Already I’ve so many restrictions prescribed by the doctor. So many do’s and don’ts. They constrict life, take the zest out of the spice of life. As I would grow older, these constraints would handicap my freewheeling spirit, I daresay. I hate living like this- a vegetable life. It is impossible for me to lie sick on my deathbed and pray for death day and night. No, not my type. As a mortal, I have to die some day or other. But... but I won’t let any disease or any accident manipulate my death. I've always lived life on my own terms. I will hold hands with my death on my own terms as well.

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But I am ending my life’s journey with some dissatisfaction. I could not plant a single concrete brick of hope for a brighter, a discrimination-free world for our future generations. We're still living in a world which is slowly moving towards an all-devouring darkness... a world blighted with ennui. Vineet, you must not quit. You should carry on my incomplete work. I hand over my baton to you. One day there must be a brighter sun at the end of the tunnel.

​

Vineet, you may be cross with me. You may call me selfish. I am leaving you alone. But I could not bear to see you suffering the burden of caring for me in my old age nor could I bear to see you down with some fatal disease some day. I'm leaving this world seeing my dear ones hale and hearty- that’s enough for me.

​

You've showered so much love on me. You've been my beacon in the sea of life. Still this heart longs for more. To quote Tagore, “My desires are not all fulfilled. I wish to be with you in my next life”.

​

Vineet was looking vacantly at the empty vials of sleeping pills tucked inside the envelope. For a moment he felt like rushing out of the house and ending his own life in an accident or something. But no. He looked at the pristine banyan tree by the lake outside their apartment. Kept looking at it. How old must the tree be? Hundred? Two hundred? Still standing tall, bearing the buffets of weather. Endurance. That is the celebration of life. He will not quit like Jaya. He will live. He will live to celebrate life with thousand others for whom life has become dull, grey or meaningless. From now on, he will live to bring sunshine to the lives of the depressed and the droop-spirited souls.